wacko

I've stopped taking the painkillers for my foot. They were quite strong and I don't want to be turning into Micheal Jackson do I?

stains massive

Look at that! Disgusting! Who would beleive that a man who shopped at Marks and Spencers could be so dirty.

footloose

There used to be a woman here - forget her name now. Apparently she was a big noise at Littlewoods. Total disappointment. Not a clue. Put a pair of flip-flops out in autumn. Mind you I wouldn't wear them any time of year...not with my bunions.

roll up

That lucky dip is an embarassement. I'll have nothing more to do with it. Was it Doris's idea? Her tombola was a table full of tat too.

passing wind

Typical. I get up the stairs and sit on the loo and nothing. The minute I'm baclk behind that till I'll be passing wind no problem