wacko

I've stopped taking the painkillers for my foot. They were quite strong and I don't want to be turning into Micheal Jackson do I?

stains massive

Look at that! Disgusting! Who would beleive that a man who shopped at Marks and Spencers could be so dirty.

footloose

There used to be a woman here - forget her name now. Apparently she was a big noise at Littlewoods. Total disappointment. Not a clue. Put a pair of flip-flops out in autumn. Mind you I wouldn't wear them any time of year...not with my bunions.

roll up

That lucky dip is an embarassement. I'll have nothing more to do with it. Was it Doris's idea? Her tombola was a table full of tat too.

passing wind

Typical. I get up the stairs and sit on the loo and nothing. The minute I'm baclk behind that till I'll be passing wind no problem

widowed

"I was widowed very suddenly at 57 and I couldn't stop thinking well who is going to creosote the fence now?"

equal opportunity

"She's a sullen little madam."

"Just sits there behing the till all day, texting..."

"She never takes the hangers out of the clothes when she's serving..."

"Oh no. That'd be too much effort"

"And if I catch my leg on that blessed wheelchair of hers once more I'll..."

"They'll not get rid of her though...like I say it's all equal opportunities now so it makes us look good if we have a disabled one."